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16 Sep 2015

Post 406: This is never going to be a popular topic? Complaining and loneliness and hating little ironies.


Best try and make this a short one, unlikely to happen. Not really, but it is pretty funny.
A number of people have said ‘You appear to be able to write’ but there’s always a ‘but’ from me. So my counsellor, Cathy, is coming round every week (no, not with a whip – that’s probably a lot more) to get me to write more. This week’s topic is ‘loneliness and complaining’. What a fun job she must have? I need to weave in depression, fatigue and self-loathing and I’ve got an unbeatable hand! That’s probably all the reasons I stopped blogging in the first place and people f*cked this off.
Most blogs seem to be about things in the news, things going wrong, ranting and complaining about life in general. I’m not averse to that (you may know) but I’m keen not to do that otherwise the writer and reader will f*ck right off again. I read somewhere today about extroverted introverts. They may sound like opposites but apparently, like everything, it’s on some sort of scale, 50 shades of Grey, if you will, but not like that! Extroverted introverts is everyone I know. Bloggers also talk about music, films and TV, usually complaining about them somewhere along the way and I’ll be honest, I’ve been guilty of that. They say that you shouldn’t live your life in the past – they say a lot don’t they? Plus, it’s another one of those stupid ironies – life is in the future but everything we know is in the past. People love nostalgia, and better still, sharing nostalgia. All you have to do is look at facebook, it’s why people love photos, and sharing photos. I’d go as far as to say, sharing photos seems to be the reason people have kids. Being this cynical doesn’t come as easy as it sounds. It is a ‘coping mechanism’ I suppose.
I once read, well sort of read, ‘treating your life as a ‘survival strategy’ is not a tremendous recipe for a happy life’ or words to that effect – it’s probably why I have had a few lousy carers and I’m this lonely. People, I thought, wanted to help but I was blind to the fact that I am all too easy to take the piss out of (except when Frenchy takes the piss, it involves actual piss, just one of the countless unpleasant jobs he heroically does around here), that and people in their thirties aren’t supposed to need help just surviving.
Perhaps one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me (sadly before my stroke) was ‘people are friends with you because ‘you make your natural bolshiness[sic] entertaining’ and that my friends seems to be the secret to life – this is a sh*t situation for everyone, make the best of it! It’s all a bit ‘Mr Gilbert’s speech to Sixth’ but with more nihilism, it’s Carl Sagan’s ‘Pale Blue Dot’ with swearing. I hope this doesn’t just inspire perspective, sympathy and a bit of ‘tutting’, because sympathy is a sh*t basis for anything (‘tutting’, the basis for British Culture), even if sympathy sometimes brings out the best in us. Another one of those little ironies. Hate them!
At this point it’s traditional to crowbar in some good news. Well, I have mentioned how brilliant the workaways have been before but without Frenchy or Gary being here to train them and to help them realize that it is pretty easy, it wouldn’t work. They are sadly only here for about a month on average but we take a bit of pride in being able to offer a decent situation, some help with improving their often excellent English, indeed Laura started off by cooking me ‘foot’ and showing me her photos of the Barcelona ‘Bitch’, her vowel sounds have improved markedly and this Austrian stylecrowd participation will amuse Katie at least She will be pleased I’m writing more, and Elli’s GENIUS cooking will hopefully contain more vegetables! As ever, the cat remains the best thing about this house and I’m slightly ashamed to say I allowed myself a little cry when each of them left.

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