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8 Aug 2010

post 226: I won't go and watch crap

Today is a day when I could do with having someone to talk to to check that I think I'm being reasonable. Here goes: On Friday I was told that being afraid of being tired or being afraid of feeling grim was not a legitimate reason for not wanting to do something, specifically, my decision to stop doing walking practice is not legitimate. I stand by my decision, I no longer have this sense of dread about the upcoming week, I can appreciate that I'm not deriving the same overall level of benefit but I am now channelling that energy into other area's which are tuned towards general health, I sure as hell didn't feel I was getting any better at walking, I had no idea that something that had been so effortless could be so difficult and soul – destroying, I am going to take it on again when I feel up to it physically and mentally. Not doing the walking practice has helped my mood and people who say that fear of tiredness is illusory are wrong. I get upset when people give up trying to understand this, expecting me to have energy when I just don't or to be able to be positive when there's nothing to be positive about, If I was lazing around doing nothing, then that would be a different story.
Fine, I've said my piece – I need to change the subject and introduce two more feline additions to my household. Pickle is still very much Top Cat and I adore her, she's just very independent so I figured why not get some additions, The neighbours two young cats may practically live over here but long have I heard about how affectionate Burmese cats can be so on Sunday 8th August we acquired a brother and sister, hitherto to be known as Ham & Cheese ( cheese is the Male silver Tabby) and they will be nominally Male and Female till it's time to get them done. Susan (my housekeeper) loves cats and has stoically agreed to keep them in her room for a month (brave lady). So till September I'll just imagine them but they are cute, apart from perhaps mice, who doesn't like kittens?
The third subject is that Proms season has started again and I went to Prom 38 with my parents last night. In fact I nearly didn't go after an accident on the M25 caused my folks to arrive here an hour late. I was fairly relaxed about this because it wasn't their fault, it's not like they'd left an hour late, they got here when they got here – we go to the concert when they got here – we miss a bit, so what, doesn't matter. I honestly don't know where I've got this louche laissez-faire attitude from? Not My Parents. When they got here they were furious, Dad just wanted to go home and Mum was behaving like that traffic jam had been put there deliberately to antagonise them, this is a peculiar feature of the middle classes, this feeling that the world is conspiring against them, when plainly it's not. Why can't the world just f*cking calm down. We're a frail species (don't I know) who can't deal with physical and mental turmoil which links me nicely back to the Proms, we missed the first piece and arrived just in time to hear a piece of modern classical music which can only have been written to describe turmoil! As a technical exercise aimed at getting the widest variety of sounds out of an Orchestra, I'm sure it's very testing and interesting, whereas Mozart, Beethoven, Bach, Tchaikovsky and Stravinsky etc knew what they were doing to get a pretty tune out of an Orchestra it seems that today's composers are competing to write the score to a horror movie. Even so, Mum thought it was amazing, and indeed it was amazing that the conductor didn't just snap his Baton five minutes in and say to himself 'oh, what's the point? ' it sounds like sh*t'. It is testament to the skill of the Orchestra (apparently the British youth Orchestra) and the conductor that any sound came out at all. I just remember back to my school days in Chamber Orchestra playing 2nd Clarinet, the second we were off the melody all but the best musicians didn't have a bloody clue (I was sadly one of the clueless ones), in a piece with no melody who actually knows what's going on? This is one of the many reasons I love the Proms and concerts in general. Seeing talented people at the top of their game is awesome and going to a place like the Albert hall is to glimpse one of man's greatest achievements. I think/hope this is in some way true of each and everything I go to. I won't go and watch crap. That can almost be my slogan for my life which is now about going to these things. If you can drive and there's anything you want to go and see drop me a line and I'll see about getting tickets. This is the one thing in my life which causes me to forget my tiredness or fear of tiredness. For example, I spent an hour on hold on Friday to get tickets to see a band I never thought I'd see live – Guns and Roses – I've got my tickets. Bring it on! The only other noteworthy thing is that I am in the process of applying for a grant from charity Motability for a new van. My present van has stood me in OK stead but I've never been able to travel in my wheelchair for longer journeys because my position in the back with my chair over the rear axle has meant almost hitting my head on the roof on more bumpy roads and the complexity of the four point securing device has been gallantly used but only to secure the chair when I'm not in it and I've had to make the (often laborious) transfer to the front seat. Instead, I may have found a vehicle which I can drive into the front passenger seat and remain in my wheelchair, the only problem is without a substantial grant from Motability I can't afford it so fingers crossed.

5 comments:

鄭雅雯 said...

一棵樹除非在春天開了花,否則難望在秋天結果。............................................................

Dom P said...

did I say Ignatius before? I meant Confucius. F*cking chines philosophers

Simon said...

砍伐树木造成木柴燃烧的尸体。

Dom P said...

you a funny guy

幸平平平平杰 said...

時間就是靈魂的生命。................. ................................................

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